When quickly succeeding becomes more important than the attempt to succeed eventually.

I took my little Cousin to her group violin lesson the other day. She's been having trouble with motivation for learning the instrument. As the time to leave for the lesson approaches, she uses that time-honored toddler tactic of flopping onto the floor. Except, she does it with the calm dignity of a nine-year-old. She is so hesitant to go at this point and it's clear she's strategizing how to get out of it. I think music of some sort is very important and my parents never successfully taught me self-motivation to learn an instrument. I wasn't about to let her lack of motivation take out 3 years of practice on a notoriously difficult instrument to master.

I knew I needed to define what successful attempts would lead to. The idea of failure was in the way so I asked her to imagine magically playing the violin well. I asked her to imagine just being able to pick up the instrument and play anything she wanted. I then asked her if she would like that. She did. This was a good sign, it meant she still had a dream to play music.

Time passed and we were already late. Unfortunately, persuading her to go was not going to be magical. I used some reasonable arguments with her. I explained how it wasn't a 'no' situation. That it would be against her character to not let her go today. That if I let her say no today it would be a loss for her later. As her guardian, it was my job to help build a pleasurable future for her. I then described how it would help her growing mind to learn this skill.

In the interest of time, I decided that I didn't have to convince her that mastering the Violin was a worthwhile endeavor. Something that takes at least fifteen teachable moments more than I had. So I decided to use the concept of integrity, which starts with not lying to yourself or others about your rational conclusions. I was surprised when she pretty much instantly responded to the idea she knew the concept and why it was important. She had already agreed to go to the lesson when she admitted that playing the violin was a value worth having. Off we went.

Similarly, as writers we have already admitted that having a way with words is a skill worth having. My magical success vision is writing a piece that I respect and like at the moment. If I love and cherish it for longer that's just a bonus. It's hard to imagine the struggle and all the ways I will experience failure. It actually might just be counterproductive. Instead, I hold on to the virtue of integrity and my dream to get me through the multitudes of attempts.

I am writing the backstories of some of my characters and I am having trouble with the opposite gender as was expected. Even just writing the background is hard. I am following my Novel Writing Month rules of not writing the story outside of the month. I am only preparing. I worry it's going to get worse when I describe thoughts and motivations. It probably will get worse.

I hold the value of integrity. I know that it will be great to have mastered writing in the near future. That's all I have to remember to withstand, or even enjoy the paper cuts of disappointment when I fail at aspects of writing.

I have been getting these feelings that my short stories are going to be successful right away. I realize that I need to curb my enthusiasm. Not for the act of writing and practice but for the success. Yeah, it would be great to have instant success. I want to write with fire and poetry as soon as possible. I need to find a way to manage that expectation. I plan to write and share my work here. I plan to experience praise and trolls alike. The only thing I am not prepared to face is being ignored. I want to have an impact. I want to bring in the lovers and dissuade the haters. At the same time, I would like to know that I am getting better.